After writing – in my last post – my explanation of what happened to me the last two months, it dawned on me in that stream-of-consciousness post that one thing that was really holding me back was my own tracking spreadsheets: I was so dejected upon looking at them and seeing how far I’d fallen (well, how much weight had risen) that I simply didn’t want to record anything or work on it more. The very thing that was supposed to be a tool to help me track had become a depressing reminder to the point that I didn’t want to even look at it.
But, I also didn’t want to start new sheets and delete everything (well, save backups). Why? Because I want to have as continuous a record as I can, and it’s a royal pain in the arse to merge multiple very detailed and integrated Excel sheets and workbooks.
So, I did the next-best (or better?) thing: I simply hid the rows. I hid rows 2 thru 124 of all my summary sheets, covering the most recent incarnation of me starting back in January 20, 2019, thru May 29, 2021. What I didn’t realize, but is, in fact, great for this, is that in-so-doing, all those data from the graphs disappeared, too. So, it’s all still there, but it’s like I’m starting over with my data and my graphs and I already feel better when I look at the sheets. Oh, and I changed the horizontal graph axes to start May 30, 2021 … again, the data are still all there, but this way there’s not that reminder of badness when I look at a graph and see 70% is blank.
So … I wrote that post Thursday night, I spent a few hours working on the spreadsheets Thursday and Friday, and now I’m set.
I also moved past another psychological block today: I walked The Loop. I thought I posted about it before, but apparently not. I live in the mountains of Colorado, on a dirt road. It’s pretty hilly, and it had grades in excess of 27%. The dirt road I’m on is a ≈9.55 km (≈5.93 mile) loop. If I walk counter-clockwise, it is a roughly 280 meter (0.17 mile / 920 ft) climb, total.
When I first moved in with the bf in August 2013, I saw The Loop as a challenge. I think I walked it maybe four times. Until last year, I hadn’t walked it since. Last year, I walked it twice, both in May. This year, I’ve already walked it twice: Once at the beginning of April, and once this morning.
The psychological block with The Loop was that I wanted to do it as the “restart” of my fitness. The April walk was kinda the endgame, before the last two months of hell set in (see previous post). I’ve been wanting to do it for the last few weeks, on Sunday (the start of my tracking week), but the last several weeks have been very rainy on Sunday – rare for Colorado, though May is our rainy month. Without getting it done on Sunday, it killed the week for me. Which I know is stupid, but it did.
So, after my Thursday post, I convinced the bf to go to bed “early” with me Thursday night, but we didn’t get to bed until after midnight, and a 7am walk (I had a 9am meeting) wasn’t feasible. So we tried again this morning.
I almost didn’t do it. But, I got up just before 7am, asked the bf if we were still going, and when he confirmed, I got dressed and off we went by 7:15.
I am not a morning person. But, I can usually be awake if I need to. And, the weather forecast for the foreseeable future (+10 days) has highs in the mid- to upper-80s, two days at 90°, and by the time the sun sets, the coolest it’s going to be is the mid-70s. I’m a creature-comforts kinda guy. So, contrast that with at 6am it’ll be 55–65°F (sunrise is 5:30am), and by 8am it’s 62–70°F this week. I would much rather figure out how to go to bed early, get up early, and walk when it’s cool, than do my normal routine of going to bed near midnight, getting up at 9am, and it already being >80°F. As I’ve discussed in previous posts, I determined I truly despise the elliptical, so I would much rather walk for cardio than the elliptical, and I can get VO2 max readings in-so doing. Also as I’ve discussed in previous posts, I think I have another psychological need to get something done in the morning so I don’t feel like I keep pushing it off during the day and never getting to it. So, win-win?
So, let’s just talk about how sucky this was. First off, when we did it in April, that was the first time the bf and I did it together. He was pretty slow, despite having a much higher VO2 max than I (his leg and glutes hurt), and I ended up adding an extra 0.43 km to my walk by doubling back a few times. It took us just under 2 hours. So, today, he said he was just walking downhill, and then back to the house. That’s still half the elevation gain of the full Loop, but it meant that we parted ways 1.8 km into it.
Second, it was hot! 🥵 Despite starting an hour after sunrise, and despite it only getting up to 77°F when I finished, the sun is really high in the sky and it was friggin’ hot. It was also humid for Colorado, above 30%.
Third, I’m out of shape. More-so than I thought I was. I had to pause eight times during my walk, for a few minutes each time, to let my heart rate settle down (maxed out at 171 bpm). I have never had to pause before. I’ve slowed down to a crawl, sure, but I’ve never stopped. So, that was a bit demoralizing.
Fourth, one of my earbuds conked out half-way through, and the other another quarter through, and the only way to reset them is with the case which I didn’t bring with me, so I listened to the sound of my feet the rest of the way.
BUT: I FINISHED IT! Yes, it took me four minutes longer (walking) than the last time on my own, which itself was six minutes longer than it took me in 2013, but I did it. And, like most exercise, after I rehydrated and caught my breath, I felt great that I had done it. I hated doing it, I almost didn’t, I almost sat down and waited ’til 9:15 for the bf to come get me (the 2-hr mark), but I finished 5 minutes shy of that cutoff, meaning I paused a total of 12 minutes.
Oh, I also went through 950 calories from the exercise. And, writing this at 10pm, I just doubled my move-goal on my Apple Watch, to >1440 calories, which I almost never ever do.
But … my VO2 max ended up at 28.9, a decrease from 29.0 on Monday, which is a decrease from 30.5 on April 25, which is a decrease from 31.7 on April 5, which was a high since November 2020. I really, really need to do more cardio, since that kind of cardiopulmonary fitness level is not healthy for a male my age, and I’m in the bottom-few-percentile for men my age.
But with that said … I did my exercise, I sweated, I went down 3 lbs since yesterday (I’m telling myself it’s fat even though I know it’s water weight) … where’s my six-pack abs?!
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